When my brothers and I were younger my mother had a policy of punishing everyone in the vicinity of a fight, an “accidental” break of furniture or appliance, a dispute between who’s turn it was or who’s going to sit in the front seat !! I always thought that was so unfair of her to make everyone suffer for the actions or behavior of the “guilty” one. For instance, if two of you were arguing and the other two did nothing to stop it but witness the madness from the sideline, then everyone got in trouble. She wouldn’t even entertain the statements “but I didn’t do anything…” or “I wasn’t even fighting, I just watched…” .
I realize now that my mother was teaching us a very important lesson, whether she knew it or not. She made us accountable for one another and our actions and we soon realized that everyone’s actions impact a greater community, whether it’s good or bad. We learned to resolve issues without getting my mother involved, we learned to share and take turns and eventually we learned to disagree without fighting. As a result, we developed a whole host of skills which included problem-solving, negotiating and teamwork skills. We also developed a keen sense of others and the impact we have on our environment. These lessons are proving to be very valuable today as people are struggling financially because of bad decisions or joblessness, religious groups are fighting over their right to practice their religion and disputing over land.
Too bad my mother is not in charge now…no one would get anything until they learned how to resolve their issues in a peaceful manner and learn to disagree without fighting.
